Not til I got home from the cardiologist and had some time to let all the information sink in did I realize the statistics of where we are at. In the cardiologist office I felt hopeful, so grateful Izzy had made it past the “average death day” and encouraged she would continue to set records. Once home, I looked up all her medications and realized that her current prescription is getting very close to the ceiling of what’s possible. After that, it’s just pain management (versus symptom management) until she tells us it’s time and she’s over it.
I was thinking we’d have months, maybe even a year. But it could be weeks.
This has led to tears. Overwhelmed tears. Sad tears. What-am-I-gonna-do-without her tears.
And then Izzy crawls up on my chest and licks the tears.
Which leads to soft tears.
thank you tears.